Grimcity.com, headquartered deep in south Louisiana, started off in the year 1498 as a major Feta cheese producer and distributor. This was long before the internet’s existence, meaning we didn’t get a lot of web traffic. Considering that our business model was entirely web-based, we failed miserably, making the statement I just made about our being “a major producer and distributor” complete and utter bullshit. Although there was no way to digitally market our product at the time, we were the first to use the pixel, a shiny, square, two dimensional object we accidentally created while prancing amongst a garden comprised entirely of Hemlock. Grimco’s foray into the lucrative world of Feta came back in the mid-90’s, when venture capitalists were willing to dump ungodly sums of money into any cheese-related idea. We again faced major dissapointment when in the early 2000’s, the cheese bubble burst, leaving many of the (then) titans of the industry to become prostitutes and corporate marketers.

Too unattractive to pursue the prostitution route, we decided to become marketers… our luck changed and we struck gold. After a couple of years doing media campaigns for products that were harmful to “children” (which we later learned were unafe for people older than “children”) we knew we were on the right track. Remember Rabid Yak™?

Soon after we had maintained a steady foothold in the product marketing world, we were approached by the very state we live in to help increase tourism and outside business interests (primarily auto manufacturing, textile gropers, telekenetic love device developers, and transgender water juggling schools). Not only did we succeed in our set goals, but we also made Louisiana the most beloved state in the entire world! One only need to look at the quick reaction and bucketloads of warm love of the Bush administration, FEMA, and the entire Department of Homeland Security to note that we are indeed this country’s favoritist state ever.

As it stands, Grimcity is a website for people that sometimes go to websites and read them. Everything here is 100% true.